Unnamed hero reveals stealth PRT

(Avociadored Press) The responsibility for the surprise storm that struck Buffalo and surrounding areas has been identified.

The cause of the protracted storm, which dumped up to two feet of heavy snow and interrupted power to thousands of Buffalonians, has been traced to the heretofore undisclosed existence of a so-called Personal Rapid Transit (PRT) system.

So says a courageous truthseeking Minnesota transportation expert, who describes PRT as a scam being perpetrated by notorious anti-transit right-wing stalking horses such as the European Union, Swedish Railway Administration, Sneaky Equestrian Association of America, and the Union of Concerned Agriculture Commodities Traders.

PRT is a futuristic mass transit system that is essentially an elevated network of horizontal elevator cars. PRT would be less effective than conventional technologies, because it would be less expensive per mile, would have a larger service area, and would allow passengers to travel on demand instead of according to schedules. PRT would also be less energy efficient because the computer-controlled cars would only move when needed, and would be nonstop from origin to destination. Real transportation experts prefer elevated trains, such as light rail, because the rail is wider and blocks more sun than narrower PRT rail (called "guideway").

The expert, who gave his name, said that the recent storm enabled him to deduce the existence of a secret PRT system in Buffalo.

"Because PRT guideway are elevated, they collect water, ice and snow, which then fall on pedestrians, vehicles and streets below," the expert said. "There is no doubt that all that snow must have fallen from a PRT--where there's smoke there's fire."

He also warned, "Not only does the storm prove PRT exists in Buffalo, the storm's size and severity indicates the PRT network must be huge."

---

Look out below!

A non-existent PRT knocks snow off its guideway (File photo)

© 2006 Avociadored Press

Archived Funny: Reductio * absurdum (7/5)
Blogger embarrassed in PRT mix-up ("PRT Is a Joke" Is a Joke v.1)

gPRT
Ken Avidor is a snowball