Fact-Checking the "PRT Boondoggle" Blog
A project of the PRT NewsCenter

Monday, February 19, 2007

Light rail segment obliterated - Heroic editor sounds alarm

Watchful transportation expert alerted by Google Maps

A large segment of a Minneapolis light rail line has been obliterated under mysterious circumstances.

Ben Labridor, transportation editor of the Twin Cities Daily Planet, alerted authorities on Monday after discovering that a block-long section of the Hiawatha light rail line was missing from the vicinity of Hiawatha Avenue and E. 29th Street. Metro Transit officials have yet to comment, and Minneapolis police and fire departments report no explosions or other demolition activities.

"This tragedy goes far beyond mere vandalism or even terrorism," said an anxious Labridor by phone from his Minneapolis home. "This is transit bashing at its worst."

Labridor said that he had been at home performing internet research about transit systems, when he happened to chance upon an aerial photo of Minneapolis that shocked him.

"I had just seen the light rail earlier today," said Labridor, "When I'm in the area I always make sure to look at the train," he said, "its long, hard, ramrod-like form going back and forth through the neighborhood, back and forth, back and forth. In and out of Bloomington, in and out."

"Just imagine my surprise, then, when I saw on my computer that according to Google Maps a huge section of our beautiful Hiawatha light rail is gone. Around 29th Street on the west side of Hiawatha Avenue--nothing but scarred earth," said a shaken Labridor.

Labridor vowed he won't rest until he finds who is responsible. He said he believed the culprits have something to do with Personal Rapid Transit (PRT), which he said is a nonexistent transit technology that can't work and is being built at London's Heathrow Airport, as well as a site in Sweden. An early version of the nonexistent technology has been running in West Virginia for over 30 years.

Labridor said he had just found evidence on Google Maps that a PRT test facility in Wales may have been demolished, and discovered the damage to the Hiawatha Line shortly after. "It's too much of a coincidence, it's obviously payback by the PRT cabal," said Labridor. He would not elaborate on the PRT cabal without reporters first signing oaths in blood.

"Rest assured, destroying a light rail line is not beyond the power of the PRT conspirators," he said. "They've erased evidence of their work in Wales, bulldozing one half of their test facility, and turned the other half into a very realistic simulation of undeveloped industrial land."

"They're diabolical, and they could be anywhere," he said, looking over his shoulder.

Links: the Minnesota anti-PRT propagandist thinks Google=reality (claims pre-ULTra aerial photo is Now)
See Wales test track (Microsoft Virtual Earth, Bird's Eye View)

Update (2/21): ULTra track's continued existence
just means "
the bulldozing has been postponed." Apparently Google Maps is now a magical glimpse into the future!
Also: he asks about the Raytheon test track (MSVE, BEV)--desperately trying to change the subject, again.

Update (Aug. 2007): Cardiff test track enhanced to emulate Heathrow conditions. "The bulldozing" pushed even further into the future!

Update (May 2008): The Google Maps Affair is mentioned at Daily Kos (in response to this item of propaganda)

I smell Eisner nomination!
Imagine, an entire comic book about hernias:

Microsoft has announced a security flaw in Ken Avidor, a patch will be released soon


PRT_Punk said...

Avidizzle obviously doesn't know about the cloaking device we installed on the Ultra test track to conceal it from nosey aerial photographers.

We gadgetbahners are a crafty lot.

A Transportation Enthusiast said...

I hate to say it, Mr. Gow, but I don't see much of a future for this blog - what's the use in satirizing something that, itself, is such a ridiculous self-parody?!

I don't know which to believe: either Ken doesn't know that Google's map images are old; or he knows, but he's so incredibly naive that he thinks he can pass it off as a new image!

But, of course, we know it's the latter - because even when presented with indisputable evidence that the track is still there, he still doesn't retract it, instead saying the supposed "bulldozing" has been "postponed"!

And this guy claims he's a journalist! Weekly World News reporters have more integrity than this guy!

This one takes the cake.

By the way, I just did some Avidor-style research on the internet, I found evidence that Elvis is alive! Stop the presses! Who can argue with photographic evidence?


Mr_Grant said...

ridiculous self-parody?!

Hey, I hadn't considered that. Do you think he's trying to out-"PRT Is a Joke is a Joke" me? Is he taking it to the next level: "PRT Is a Joke is a Joke is a Joke"???

And what about the TC Daily Planet? Why is the obviously unqualified Ren Lumpidor still in their orbit?